Choices , we're entitled to it most of the time.
Few weeks ago , i was given options to choose from.
A) To rot at home for 3 months and enter march intake
B) To enter january intake and start studying.

Which i chose the latter and thank God i did so.
Choices often leads us to cross roads or a dead end which we label as mistakes in life.
Choices too , inflict impacts.

As an example , when a group of friends invite me out , i could either
A) Play along with them and probably faint in the middle of the outing cause of tiredness.
B) Be comfortable and stay home despite being talked about how i 'changed' for not hanging out with them . I mean, it's time to grow up and move on. If our friendship is as good as we say it , misunderstandings shouldn't happen just because i didn't appear for an outing.
C) Do nothing at all and be labeled as irresponsible bitch.

And of course there could be more impacts , resulting in more complications in life. So i decided to make my life better by giving myself only 2 choices.
It's either a YES or a NO and i''m not gonna sit on the fence no more.
As for high school , it's time to move on , i mean , i do cherish the memories and friendship we have but it's time to move on .

My memory's been going back too much lately . High school's over william, it's over. Period.
Although the holidays practically screwed up my biological clock, i still tend to wake up at around 6.45 am and have a glimpse at the clock. And to be rest assured that i don't have to wake up and attend school but on the other hand , i really miss high school. I miss my class, i miss my spot , i miss the library , i miss the environment , i miss the ambience , i miss how the bell rings . And most importantly , i miss the crowd, the companion i have throughout high school. I decided to join January intake cause part of me is still not used to not studying in January after years of practice , it has became a habit .
They say , you tend to take things you have for granted and you'll never miss it until it's gone.
It's pretty true cause right now my memory often drifts back to the times in high school and all the conversation we had. It's pretty heart wrecking to know those times can't replay no more. The screaming and cheering in 5 dahlia often echoes in my ears. How i wish we were still there in class, intact , together , having fun.
Now it's all history , written in the stars , to be played in our minds , and never to be relived again.

I'm starting college tomorrow , i wish it was like high school , which i could i march in and act like i own the place. But the reality is, i don't and i'm very much afraid at the mention or the thought of college. As tomorrow comes, i'll be swarmed over by strangers.
On a side note , It's pretty comforting to know that there are so many people defending me behind my back , just incase i might slip and fall , they will be there to aid me , defend me while i get back on my knees. Having seniors to talk about college was... comforting? As least i know what to expect and all. I think i'm ready for the rumble. Bring it on;)

Don't mess with me , cause I'm nasty at it's finest ;)

Who are you to do this to me? Who gave you the liberty to tear my world apart?
Or maybe, who am i to screw things up and put the blame of others?
I guess it's my personality at it's best .
After thinking things over, i was the one at fault .
I was the one being a brainless idiot.
Sorry for i am no saint, i'm not perfect.
But at the end of the day , who is?
And once again, who am i to seek forgiveness from you?
I don't deserve all these. I don't .
It's late at night and I'm thinking of ways to make amends to reimburse the mistakes i did in life. Too much , way too much, not even a 'repeat' button in life could save me.