I deem myself someone with a high level of endurance and patience.
But definitely not in road trips.
I can barely stand being confined to this small rectangular box called 'car' .
All i could do is just sit up straight and do nothing.
How fun is that?
And imagine going through 2 hours confined to this space.
The terror and horror .
Wait, that's not about to end !
Cause i would have to endure another 2 hours to get back to where i came from !
So it's 4 hours in total.
This does sounds ridiculous . Doesn't it?

I took chances, chances to delete you all off my life.
You don't seem to notice the torment i go through don't you?
Sometimes i even wonder why do i bother about what happened.
Yes, you guys indeed have the liberty to be mad at me just because i ditched you guys.
Because, deep within, i thought i knew you guys long enough .
Long enough , to know you wouldn't get mad at me for this small matter.
But guess i was wrong.
Very wrong indeed.
It's history now, and i know nothing will fall back into pieces.
I'll be just walk out of this high school dream and hope that nothing will affect me no more.
High school has been really a pain in the ass , maybe i don't even know what to feel anymore.
Doubts?

Okay , i back-spaced my essay long thoughts about my relationship between me and my friends. Cause the things i typed portrays me as someone weak , and i'm pretty much done with that. I used to seek solace in my friends, and still do , but the trust isn't there anymore.I feel like withdrawing right now, pulling out from cliques and society . The day came when the risk to bloom was more painful to remain as a bud. Perhaps , to be and live like a castaway. I do notice that i make a big fuss over small little things , and it's because i'm still insecure. To you, maybe i'm much of a spoilt brat inside but the least you could do is keep your own opinion to yourself. And that, would be much appreciated.
Walls are constantly built not to keep people away from me, but to see if anyone care to break it down. I'm constantly bothered by the thought of my friends leaving me, but is anyone afraid of losing me? I highly doubt so. I try... i tried ... so hard... and it's time to give up.
Life and holidays has definitely taken a toll on me .
On the side note, I have the liberty to block & delete you. Which i just did as it feels pretty good doing so . Since we're not seeing each other anymore, this marks the day you're out of my life, bye ! So, one less problem in my life.

I stared at the computer screen for a long time as a thousand thoughts careened around my head , squabbling , acknowledging , denying. All together they sums up to nothing. Nothing but questions that starts with 'what if' . ' What if our high school memories were built on a fantasy that never existed?' 'What if i knew what would i become?' 'What if...?' The regrets I have throughout high school stack up high, like a long list of things never to be relived again . Soon, these memories will halt to an end . I figured out , someday , things that matter the most to me now would be compared to nothing , nothing but history. Someday , i'll look back and say 'How foolish i was back then!' Someday , that day would come.

"I might lose my mind for awhile but it's gonna be fine, have you heard there's this thing that heals and it's called time? Clock can tick away and happiness will fall in place" ; Turn it up, Pixie Lott

For now, bye high school and am pretty glad i went through this phrase of life, alive :) Au revoir'

For now, i don't see the necessity to do anything else apart from curling under my blanket , like a contented child trying to get a glimpse of sleep. SPM's been much of a drag , it's to no end and i swear it drains more than energy itself. I literally have to squeeze my brain juice just to make something up to fill in the gap between words. Thank God that it's ending in a week's time , i'm pretty sure i can't uphold anymore torturous moments like these and it's really hard to act briskly when all i wanna do is fall down on the floor and sleep. Not mentioning that i'm always hungry and tired even though i pretty much eat like a pig and live like one. Time to gain some composure? I guess.
And am i the only one going through such a plaintive life?!

I'm a kind person , as told by friends and family. Joke d:
Well, at least i don't go around ruthlessly killing every living thing possible. Just saying .
One of the worst thing i did was probably granting mosquitoes a swift death , without tormenting it bit by bit. E.g. dismantle it's legs or wings from its body or torso or whatsoever.
Sometimes, when i do have the free time, i would even 'escort' the mosquito out of my room without swatting it till death. Baha, how generous of me. When karma or God ever sees what i've done, i'll be able to elevate myself closer to sainthood by saving a mosquitoe's life ! Haha, just joking d: But when a group of mosquitoes decided to attack me without any apparent reasons , i'll tend to go berserk. Mosquitoes are such a menace especially when i'm in the middle of a major exam !
The joy of having those little creatures looming over me is terrific-ly terrible. Don't they ever get bored of flying around me?! So , i decided to plot my revenge on those little flying insects. But sadly, it's to no avail. My plan failed terribly cause there's too MUCH of them around. Trust me, the word much suit this situation best. They fly at the speed of light ! Okay, i'm done exaggerating . HAHA. Lesson learnt ? Don't ever provoke mosquitoes or they'll bug you till death. Bug, literally .